You hope you are malignant?

I faxed in my appeal to the authorization team and called to verify it was received. I confirmed that it was denied because of the procedure itself. Within the first year of coverage there are certain procedures which are not approved.

I am having my Dr. Send them the results of my biopsy to see if there are any cancerous or pre-cancerous cells. If the biopsy showed a malignancy then it is a life- threatening condition and the surgery tomorrow will be approved. For a few moments, I hoped that I was malignant just to get the surgery done.

I don't want to have cancer cells in my body. My immune system is too sad to deal with aggressive cancer cells.

After speaking with the authorization team and finding out it generally takes 72 hours at least and usually two weeks for an appeal to be approved, it is looking more like I will be waiting until after the first of the year for my surgery.

Healthcare

I am very stressed out over my upcoming surgery and found out last night that the procedure is considered pre- existing if it is within the first year of coverage.

My coverage started January 1, 2012 so I am a few weeks shy of a year. It's bullshit. Even Aflac only has a six month pre- existing condition clause. I have to call back Monday morning and speak with a special authorization team to see if they will allow an exception.

I'm very annoyed that I have to beg for a surgery I need which was diagnosed within the last two weeks and through which I have been suffering for a few months. Obamacare isn't looking so bad.

I'm going to crawl back in bed and feel extra sorry for myself and stress over it until Monday. I may have to wait until the first of the year and that makes me miserable. I would cry if I could. Maybe I will watch the movie Beaches or listen to some country music to get the tears flowing. Any suggestions for getting tears started?

Hot Lava

I have joined the world of technology and now have an iPhone. It is making it easier to check email and keep my blog updated and I am enjoying it.
What I am not enjoying is being sick. Test are done and I have uterine fibroids (non-cancerous tumors in my uterus). I have a surgical consult next week and must decide on a full or partial hysterectomy. I am leaning toward taking everything out .
I have been trying to eat SCD ( special carbohydrate diet) but it has proven to be difficult for me. I need a good cheat day to at least eat some sugar if not rice products. What is left of my soul shrivels up and hides when I eat too strictly.
No matter how I eat I seem to get a new health problem anyway so it makes it hard to have the desire to be healthy. My current problem is excessive menstrual bleeding with cramps x10. I'm miserable and cranky and just mad. Surgery freaks me out and I don't know how long I will be off work to recover.
I have hope that I will feel better soon and know that a positive attitude makes healing easier. It is really hard for me to find that positive feeling. Humor certainly makes it better and a co- worker, after hearing me compare my bleeding to a volcanic lava flow, called me lava crotch. I certainly am a hot lava mess.

Fall Soup

Being sick is tiring.  I can't believe that I haven't posted since July, but I have barely been able to go to work and keep a paycheck.  I'm working with my doctor but basically my thyroid blew out (underactive) and my girl parts need to be removed (that is my opinion, the jury is still out pending tests).  When I am sick, I don't eat right, exercise right, or act right.  I need a cook and maid and mother for my son.  On the bright side, fall is beautiful and brings harvests of yummy food.

I made soup with the banana squash from my parent's garden and it was delicious.

I cut up the squash into big pieces and boiled them in salted water until it was completely soft.
Cool the pieces and then scrape the squash into a blender with some of the water from the pan.
Add seasonings and, if you want, butter/oil/cream.  I used salt and pepper and coconut oil.

So easy and fast and warms the soul (if you have one).

Snakes

Yesterday's Meals
Breakfast: Bacon, eggs and broccoli
Lunch: Pork steaks slow cooked in the crock pot and spinach, gluten free cake with strawberries and cream
Dinner: Salad with pork leftover from lunch and Braggs Sesame Ginger salad dressing and a yam with coconut oil

So far today
Breakfast: Carne asade steak with scrambled eggs cooked with jalapenos

I am quite uncomfortable today due to whipped cream.  I made a tasty gluten-free yellow cake (King Arthur brand) with strawberries and whipped heavy cream and it was just sooooo good.  I was only going to have a little bit of cream, but then I had a lot.  In fact, I made some cream cheese and whipped cream for frosting and ate that as well.  I am miserable and enjoyed every bite of that misery.  However, it reminded me that I enjoy the absence of stomach pain more than I enjoy dairy products.  I have been trying to eat homemade yogurt and I have been ill and decided to stop eating it and take a pill instead.  At least I tried and I feel a sense of accomplishment for making the yogurt myself and having it turn out as well as it did.

I wish sugar gave me an adverse reaction so that it would be easier to say no to sugar.  The Specific Carbohydrate Diet  is working well, but it is hard to stick with.  It really only works when it is done religiously to starve the bad bacteria and get the intestine back to a natural state of balance.

My sister is doing very well with SCD (she has more self-control than I do) and explained that she has to starve the vicious tiger in her belly and that by eating even a small amount of bad sugar, she is feeding the tiger.  I had to change my evil entity to a snake, because I am terrified of snakes.  I view my intestines as a beautiful garden of eden in which a vicious, evil, destructive snake has grown mad with power because of eating bad sugars.  The only way to remove this evil snake is to starve it and make it die!  The only way to starve the snake and stop it from killing all the other good bacteria is to stop eating bad sugars.  If I take even one bite of sugar, I am feeding the snake and allowing it to continue destroying my intestines.

Whatever it takes.

Speaking of snakes, I saw one yesterday on a hike.  The benefit of living in Utah by the mountains is taking beautiful hikes.  Big Cottonwood and Little Cottonwood are just minutes away and there are so many  hikes to enjoy.  I was at the trail head by the river and a medium size water snake slithered quickly off the trail into the underbrush.  My rational mind knows it is a water snake and that there was no rattle or diamond shapes to cause alarm.  My irrational self screams like a strangled cat and springs through the air10 feet backwards and tries to go get back in the car.  When my heart stopped racing, I was able to go on the hike, but kept careful watch and made a lot of noise to scare away those nasty snakes.

Summer Days

Breakfast is a meal I have had to force myself to enjoy.  Now that I am eating right for my gut, I realize that an appropriate breakfast is the building block of a healthy day.  I try hard to stay with my triangle of protein, good vegetable carbohydrate and good fat and find that I have more energy throughout the day if I can hit that target.

I had leftover ham and leftover brussel sprouts so I reheated them and fried and egg in coconut oil.  It was easy and satisfying and even looked kind of pretty.

In an effort to exercise and enjoy the coolness of the canyons, we took a nice hike up Little Cottonwood Canyon.  The rocks were a good work out, but I was afraid of snakes and had to turn back for fear of falling off the mountain at the steep parts.  Across the canyon by the raging river there was a beautiful shaded grove of pine trees which smelled so delicious.  That spot is my idea of heaven, just no snakes!

My friend is very kind and made gluten-free maple pastries for the people in her family who are allergic to wheat.  She had some dough left over and I rolled out the dough into a square, wrapped up a hot dog and brushed it with coconut oil and baked it in the oven.  It was so delicious.  I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten a corn dog.  The dough was a ready-made mix she found at the grocery store (Harmons) and it was the closest thing to regular dough I have seen yet.  It did give me some heart burn (any type of grain flour seems to cause me heart burn) but no stomach trouble and it will be worth the discomfort as an occasional special treat.

I have been making my own yogurt to introduce good bacteria as outlined by the Specific Carbohydrate Diet  (SCD) and confirmed, once again, that I just don't like yogurt.  I am eating it anyway, but putting it in a smoothie or a lot of fruit to drown out the taste and change the texture.  Bleah.  I made yogurt with coconut milk and it was not smooth or delicious, rather, it was tart and clumpy.  I would rather take a pill, but it is necessary to ferment the yogurt for at least 24 hours to get the right enzymes and bacteria.  I need to study it more.  I am trying to fit it in my diet and am welcome to any and all suggestions.

Speaking of the SCD, it is impossible.  It is a rare day that I can completely follow the guidelines.  I do quite well most of time, but find myself taking a drink of something or eating a bite of something I shouldn't.  I think my subconscious is already taxed to the limit with avoiding gluten and dairy and corn products and just doesn't want to stop eating sugar and gluten-free grains.  That subconscious of mine tries to sabotage me all of the time.  In addition to the daily mistakes, I truly miss a cheat day.  SCD calls for total dedication for at least two months and I just don't have it in me.  I feel picked on already and restricting my diet even more makes me lose my motivation to eat healthy.  I so admire people with the will power and drive to tell their subconscious to piss off and eat right.  I hope to find that kind of strength at some point.

Muffins are all the rage at my house, and at my work.  I couldn't find flax meal at my local stores, so I used almond flour and coconut flour and have made some delicious creations.  I used the recipe found below andy friend loaned me her book about muffins and I am going to make most of them (there were a few that didn't sound good, like lox and cream cheese muffins).  Friends at work are also making gluten-free muffins with flax and chia and fresh fruit from the garden and bringing them to share.  My favorite so far are the blueberry (shown below), but the cinnamon walnut turned out great as well.

I substituted raw stevia for sugar in some, but didn't add any sweetener to others and I think they taste great.  Stevia is an excellent sweetener which doesn't negatively impact blood sugar.  I think I can detect a slight after taste with stevia, so I generally avoid sweetening my muffins.  If I put fruit in the muffin, it provides a natural sweetness which I prefer.

I have noted that I can only eat two muffins at a time or I develop intestinal discomfort and heart burn.  This has me confused because it is nut flour and not grain flour.  It is possible that my gut is just telling me not to eat the entire batch of muffins just because they smell and taste so good.

Muffins are a great way to provide a "bread" to a meal.  I am excited to make the savory muffins with Italian seasonings to go with spaghetti squash.  Muffins are easy to make and can be frozen for later use.  I highly recommend almond flour muffins for paleo and gluten-free eaters alike.