Shy Blood

My Doctor ordered blood tests and I finally went to get it done and it was miserable, just as I had anticipated.  I would have taken someone with me, but it feels better if strangers see you cry and hyperventilate.

I have high anxiety going to any hospital and the lab where I went was the same hospital where I was admitted for MRSA.  I had to fast 8-12 hours before getting the blood drawn, so I went in the morning after I slept for 12 hours.  Yes, I said 12 hours.  My subconscious tried to to keep me from going, but it was the only day I could get it done.

Driving there I turned the radio up loud on the oldies channel and just sang my heart out to avoid thinking about where I was going and why.  Once I got to the hospital and went to the outpatient clinic to sign in, I was quite sure the germs were visible in the air and on every surface.  Clorox wipes are my special friends and putting rubbing alcohol in your nose really helps keep germs out of your nose.

The nice lady who drew my blood was pretty good at her job, but I don't take chances.  I showed her which vein she needed to use and explained which needle was best and asked for the heat pack and then closed my eyes to go to my happy place until she was finished.  However, my vein was very shy, or she sucked, and she could only get a half tube of blood.  She dug around for a bit trying to help my shy vein, but it wasn't cooperating.  We had to start over and she was finally able to find a hand vein to get what she needed.  I hyperventilated a bit and did some l amaze breathing and cried a little.

I cannot tolerate the site of blood, especially my own.  I have been know to faint dead away when my blood goes into the tube and have vomited numerous times.  When I faint or vomit, I pee a little or sometimes a lot.  It is really an exciting journal moment to be able to say, "Dear Diary, today I fainted and peed my pants in public!"

I mention this because there is a new rule where the lab technician must show the individual the vial of blood to verify it is the correct name label on the tube.  I had the amazing opportunity of looking at four vials of blood when I had planned on keeping my eyes shut until she left the room.

So, I have to look at blood after getting stuck over and over and I am feeling queasy, light-headed, nauseated, and head-achey.  I ask for some orange juice and guess what?  There have been too many diabetic problems related to blood giving and juice.  Due to liability issues, labs can no longer offer juice or cookies or anything.

Now I know that I need to bring my own juice, but it doesn't help me at that moment when I haven't eaten for 12 hours and I am on the verge of fainting (and peeing in public).

I stumble out to the pharmacy and get a juice to purchase and there are 3 people in line waiting to purchase their pills.  I sit down to wait and open the juice and drink some and start to tear up a little.  A nice lady sitting next to me tells me to put my head between my knees because I was looking pale and shaky.  She was really nice and had long grey hair with a stripe of purple.  The line doesn't move and I am sitting talking to purple stripe lady for a while, boobing and hyperventilating and I remember I left my jacket in the lab.

There are still 3 people waiting in line to pay, so I go get my jacket and come back and now there are 5 people in line.  I sit down and finish the juice and there are STILL 5 people in line waiting to pay so I left.  I stole a juice and I owe the pharmacy $1.29.

From now on, I am going to take someone with me to drive me and hug me while I sob and take my own juice and snacks so I don't resort to theft.  I am also going to take double Xanax or double whatever to keep me in la la land until it is all over.  If I am doped up, I won't care that I am humiliating myself in public.