New Year

The new year begins in less than five minutes.  I am hearing fireworks and watching snow fall softly past the street light and it looks like silver glitter.  I worked and then came home with a bad headache to the warmth of my bed.

I remember new year celebrations past with fondness.  We would play games and make treats, sometimes even molasses candy on top of newly fallen snow?  We would write in our journals and bang pots and pans and watch fireworks if any of our neighbors were rich enough to have them.

Later, as a tween, we would stay up as long as possible hopped up on Mountain Dew and mystery meals we made with whatever ingredients we could find.  As a teen, we worked-under the table-back in the kitchen at a catering company.  We would have left over food and I remember eating myself sick on steak and shrimp.

I hope the new year brings a safe and healthy year for me and everyone.

Happy New Year!

Eating Healthy at Work

With food allergies, eating healthy at work can be a challenge. My work kindly has a very nice grill which we use often. There is a store across the street and I can go get salmon or steak or whatever looks good and grill it up on my lunch break . A steamer bag of vegetables or a yam in the microwave with some olive oil round out my triangle of health.

However, some nights are blizzards and standing outside to cook is uncomfortable if not downright miserable. On such nights the solutions are crock pots and baby skillets. Tonight I made cheese sandwiches with organic Irish butter, UDIs GFbread and a thin slice of cheese. It is a simple and easy way to have something hot to eat away from home.

Christmas 2012

It was a low key Christmas with lots of napping and movie watching. I baked a whole chicken and made instant mashed potatoes. It was really good.

Christmas

We had an early Christmas dinner and it was enjoyable because I didn't do much. My family brought over food and we did a potluck dinner.

I had heard about a gluten free bakery and went by to see what it was like. They had rolls for the holiday and different cookies and cup cakes. I had a pretty good stomach ache from the grains and a nice headache from the sugar rush.

The place is call Eleanor's Bake Shop and the website is the same. They had sold out of bread and most of their baked goods but had sugar cookies and muffins and rolls. I had a hot roll with dinner for the first time on years. It is a deli as well as a bakery and they serve sandwiches and soups and salads.

It made Christmas dinner delicious just to have a roll and a sugar cookie for dessert.

Back To Work

Being back to work when I should be home recovering isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It forces me to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop moping around the house.

The pain in my abdomen is tolerable if I keep my Tylenol and ibuprofen levels steady. When I am at home a heating ad or a hot bath keep me relaxed. Lying down is much better than sitting or standing as gravity seems to be bad for the tumors.

The bleeding is still excessive and I am taking iron supplements due to anemia. I have severe menstrual symptoms and am quite moody. I will burst into tears periodically and am quite upset that I have to endure the next few weeks.

Being a stress eater is something I struggle with and I find myself making poor choices because I am already sick and miserable. I just want to drink soda and eat candy and stay in bed in the dark and quiet.

Everything will work out eventually for good or bad. I've already lost half of my mind and I will try to hold on to the other half until the surgery.

Surgery Saga

Surgery is happening tomorrow at 11:30.  Dr. has provided the documentation necessary to the authorization team.  He does not approve of waiting until after the first of the year.  Fingers crossed that it will be enough for the approval.  Either way, the surgery will get done and I won't have an extra few weeks off work to worry about.

It is the insurance company policy to deny certain procedures during the first year of coverage.  They are not trying to say my condition is a pre-existing condition, only that the procedure is not covered within the first year of signing up for coverage.  I hope they will make the exception and may regret the decision not to wait the extra few weeks to make sure it is covered.  I have already lost most of my mind from the pain and discomfort and bleeding and am quite sure I will lose my sanity if I wait until after the first of the year.

Meals are made and in the freezer and Judith and Leon are making home made chicken soup for me.  Everything I have read about recovery is about eating bone broth because it helps healing.  I will be drinking lots of green tea with coconut oil and eating chicken soup with bone marrow.  That will be my forced diet until I feel like eating normally.

Because I don't feel good, I made easy meals to prepare to be down and out for a few weeks.  I used individually portions meats which were easy to bake in the oven, pork chops, salmon, chicken and baked them all together and then paired them with frozen vegetables cooked in steamer bags.  Add some butter or oil when heating and it is a perfect paleo meal to help with recovery.

You hope you are malignant?

I faxed in my appeal to the authorization team and called to verify it was received. I confirmed that it was denied because of the procedure itself. Within the first year of coverage there are certain procedures which are not approved.

I am having my Dr. Send them the results of my biopsy to see if there are any cancerous or pre-cancerous cells. If the biopsy showed a malignancy then it is a life- threatening condition and the surgery tomorrow will be approved. For a few moments, I hoped that I was malignant just to get the surgery done.

I don't want to have cancer cells in my body. My immune system is too sad to deal with aggressive cancer cells.

After speaking with the authorization team and finding out it generally takes 72 hours at least and usually two weeks for an appeal to be approved, it is looking more like I will be waiting until after the first of the year for my surgery.

Healthcare

I am very stressed out over my upcoming surgery and found out last night that the procedure is considered pre- existing if it is within the first year of coverage.

My coverage started January 1, 2012 so I am a few weeks shy of a year. It's bullshit. Even Aflac only has a six month pre- existing condition clause. I have to call back Monday morning and speak with a special authorization team to see if they will allow an exception.

I'm very annoyed that I have to beg for a surgery I need which was diagnosed within the last two weeks and through which I have been suffering for a few months. Obamacare isn't looking so bad.

I'm going to crawl back in bed and feel extra sorry for myself and stress over it until Monday. I may have to wait until the first of the year and that makes me miserable. I would cry if I could. Maybe I will watch the movie Beaches or listen to some country music to get the tears flowing. Any suggestions for getting tears started?

Hot Lava

I have joined the world of technology and now have an iPhone. It is making it easier to check email and keep my blog updated and I am enjoying it.
What I am not enjoying is being sick. Test are done and I have uterine fibroids (non-cancerous tumors in my uterus). I have a surgical consult next week and must decide on a full or partial hysterectomy. I am leaning toward taking everything out .
I have been trying to eat SCD ( special carbohydrate diet) but it has proven to be difficult for me. I need a good cheat day to at least eat some sugar if not rice products. What is left of my soul shrivels up and hides when I eat too strictly.
No matter how I eat I seem to get a new health problem anyway so it makes it hard to have the desire to be healthy. My current problem is excessive menstrual bleeding with cramps x10. I'm miserable and cranky and just mad. Surgery freaks me out and I don't know how long I will be off work to recover.
I have hope that I will feel better soon and know that a positive attitude makes healing easier. It is really hard for me to find that positive feeling. Humor certainly makes it better and a co- worker, after hearing me compare my bleeding to a volcanic lava flow, called me lava crotch. I certainly am a hot lava mess.